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Opinion: A look at the issues of today

PUBLISHED: 12:00 23 December 2017

Archant

Coffee shops fertile grounds for gossip

The happiest part of my week was when I read on the Romford Recorder website that a new coffee shop had opened in The Liberty.

I like going to coffee shops. I know this because I was sitting in a different coffee shop when I read that.

It’s where I write, edit and all the rest of the things I pretend is work.

My favourite thing to do is listen to the conversations around me.

I once live-tweeted a couple’s first date in the old Coffee Republic. My favourite bit was where she said she doesn’t see her best friend that much much anymore because she is always changing nappies.

The man replied, “Has she got kids?”

We all hoped so.

The latest conversation I overheard was on a train heading home from a gig. A couple got on mid-chat. She said, “It’s makes me so happy that you didn’t. It means you have a good relationship.”

I sensed gossip so I listened harder. S

he added, “I think that’s why I tried to kiss you. I was testing your relationship.”

I got my notebook out as I like to make a record of really good excuses.

“I’m so proud to have a good man as a friend,” she said, “because most men wouldn’t be able to say no to a woman like me.”

What? A crazy one who’ll try to ruin your relationship to stress-test it? Yes, we men love that.

Put that on your plenty of fish profile, which you clearly have.

But then she ended the conversation with these words, “It must mean you have a strong marriage.”

So if you are going to the new coffee shop in The Liberty and you have scandal like that happening in your life, do me a favour, speak up.

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