View from a comedian: 'Olympics - introducing sports that young teens would do'

Great Britain's Charlotte Worthington on her way to winning a gold medal in the women's BMX freestyl

Charlotte Worthington on her way to winning a gold medal in the women's BMX freestyle park - Credit: PA Images

I have been riding high on the recent success of Team GB at the Tokyo Olympics. I realise I have no right to share in that good feeling. It’s not as if I help to support these sports between Olympics.

I try to convince myself that I help to give patronage to the sports when I buy a lottery ticket but I know the real reason is so I could win millions and get to tell my boss where and how far up he can shove a job one day.

Some of the sports we have taken medals in were new to me. I was so happy we did well at BMX racing but I thought that was something you only saw in kids’ films in the 1980s.

Steve Allen.

Steve Allen asks whether there will be Freestyle Zit Popping in the 2024 Olympics - Credit: Steve Allen

Imagine my surprise when we did even better at freestyle BMX. If you haven’t seen that event it’s hard to describe. It’s what would happen if you tried to perform freestyle gymnastics while playing The Floor is Lava. It’s skateboarding on a bike.

I don’t know why that is so surprising given that I was watching Olympic skateboarding the other week.

That’s when it hit me. The Olympics are introducing new sports that are basically what young teens would do. If this trend continues by the time we see Paris holding the Olympic Games in 2024 there’ll be competitive Keeping a Tamagotchi, Freestyle Zit Popping and 100 metres Going to Your Room.

Future Olympics will still include running but it will be called Running Away from the Dinner Table in a Huff or Synchronised Posting to Instagram.

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One thing is for sure, even if the future includes any teen-centric activities and events, for a few weeks every four years I will act as if I am an expert in them and share in every success.

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