From a comedian: Two wishes for 2021

I have two main wishes for 2021. I wish for a year of good news about the pandemic, and to finally get back into a pub. So far it hasn’t gone well but here’s something hopeful.

Brewdog, the beer company, is in talks with the government to use its pubs as vaccination stations. The idea gives a whole new meaning to having a pint and then doing shots.

The idea makes sense. Pubs are currently closed, they have refrigerators and they also have plenty of seats in case needles make you feel dizzy. Some people might not be keen on the idea of getting the vaccine, but getting a pint while you’re there is a great incentive.

The Covid vaccines currently require two injections and doing them in a pub could help with that too. I have often had a night in the local and woken up the next day feeling rough, promising myself I wouldn’t do it again. Yet somehow I find myself back there a few weeks later.

Yes, there’s a worry that real ale drinkers would try to brew their own vaccine and claim it was better than the commercial ones. It would be so cloudy no one would pick it.

It would be nice if gastropubs did it too. What a lovely evening out it would be to get a drink, scampi and chips and a Covid inoculation. In normal times if a pub meal comes with its own vaccine you’d worry about the kitchen’s hygiene rating, but these are not normal times.

I understand that some people are antivaxxers and they would probably stand outside the vaccination pubs shouting about their conspiracy theories and how Bill Gates is going to install 5G inside us all, but that’s OK. I quite like the idea of having some nuts with my pint.