Eye on the jungle: Recorder reporter Hayley Anderson on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Here!

A portrait of Hayley Anderson (photo: Arnaud Stephenson)

A portrait of Hayley Anderson (photo: Arnaud Stephenson) - Credit: photo: Arnaud Stephenson

Hayley Anderson gives her view on happenings in the jungle

November 30

There was nothing but peace and quiet when campers woke up as funny boy Jimmy wasn’t feeling very funny as he refused to get up from his hammock.

The same zombie-like movements were replicated by the other celebrities as presenter Nadia, broadcaster Michael and reality star Kendra all admitted to having a slight hangover after last night.

But not to fear, as Jimmy soon livened up and with the help of his trusty sidekick hunky Jake, the pair used their super annoying powers to get her ready for the day ahead.

His caveman attitude soon came in handy as Jake faced the next bushtucker trial, down the chain.

The X Factor reject was tied up - you guessed it - in chains, in a tank filling with water and the only way to get out was to release the keys in 10 minutes.

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Of course, this was almost next to no trouble to Jake who stormed through the challenge and won all of the meals for his campmates.

The morale in the wombat tribe had hit rock bottom which was made even worse when Jimmy admitted he thought they were called the wallabies.

So nothing could console the boys and Mel when they were defeated by the galahs with no help from screaming Jimmy who jumped out of his skin at the first sight of a snake.

The humiliation of failing couldn’t of been more painful as even Kendra amazed everyone when she faced her arch nemesis, thousands of cockroaches.

So the galahs won immunity from the first vote off leaving Jimmy, Tinchy, Foggy and Mel very vulnerable.

November 29

Broadcaster Michael was forced to switch his allegiances when the galahs (aka the girls) picked him to join their team, making him feel more like a “transvestite” than a man.

His more feminine side soon came out as him and actress Vicki were gossiping away like a pair of old biddies on a log as they watched ex-footballer Jimmy and X Factor’s Jake messing about.

But all of the attention soon went onto former MP Edwina when she took on Cabin Fever.

Ant and Dec explained that she would have to search for the 10 stars in an old cabin filled to the brim with creepy crawlies but like the determined politician she is, Edwina soldiered on and won a grand total of eight stars.

In the midst of the next challenge between Edwina and motorbike racer Foggy, talk turned to everyone’s careers and particularly on Jake’s and former playboy bunny Kendra’s.

The X Factor reject was seeking the advice of his campmates on his future career in show business but asking advice from an MP, an actress only known for one role hundreds of years ago and an ex-girlfriend of Hue Heffner was probably not the best idea.

But that ex-girlfriend soon piped up about her own reality show and her stormy relationship with her husband.

Then in a dramatic fashion, she left celebrities and viewers hanging about whether he had cheated on her after droning on for what seemed like hours - a clear attempt to encourage more people to tune into the next season of her self-indulged show.

It was soon back to Edwina and Foggy when they went head to head in the final boys versus girls challenge.

The pair had to make sure they kept their finger on the button while they were spun round and covered in filth.

But with a little help from some tone deaf renditions of Uptown Girl and Bridge Over Troubled Water from Edwina, Foggy lost his concentration and handing over the meals for the night to the girls.

Yet drama was stirring in the camp as Jimmy and Jake were at logger heads with one another as the ex-footballer slated his “friend” about his lack of talent.

The boys said it was “just banter” but the truth behind this is still unknown.

November 28

A couple of the campers were feeling a little more touchy feely than usual as ex-footballer Jimmy called motorbike racer Foggy over to his hammock for a cringe-worthy grope of his behind.

Yet the adventures of Mr Bullard didn’t stop there when everybody woke up and he started screaming in his team’s faces to supposedly “encourage” them.

Thankfully MP Edwina and former playboy bunny Kendra got to escape from the racket when they were voted to do the next trial, the pipes of peril.

Kendra had to sit on the edge of what looked like a blood-filled pool and answer questions about bugs to win enough time for Edwina to crawl through a pipe with snakes, lizards and cockroaches to pick up the desired 10 stars.

To Ant and Dec’s amusement, Kendra kept squealing in fear as she plunged into the pool more than enough times for it to still be funny.

But the duo did manage to win six stars to feed either the boys or the girls that night.

Unfortunately on their return, Jimmy insisted on singing at the top of his lungs and bashing pots and pans to “liven” everyone up.

If his antics earlier didn’t annoy his campmates then this definitely did as broadcaster Michael gave him the filthiest look from his log.

But the pair had to work together if they wanted to win the boys food for that night, as they went up against Irish Nadia and ‘Allo ‘Allo’s Vicki in the next boys versus girls challenge.

The task was for all four of them to keep two arrows placed either side of them, from pointing upwards.

Then as a distraction, whenever a light placed on a stand lit up, they would have to show their paddles and the last one to do so, was given a nasty electric shock.

After Nadia got knocked out of the race from paying no attention to one of her turning arrows, Vicki, Jimmy and Michael had to answer a tie break question: how long had the three of them been doing the task for.

It was to the amazement of the boys that Vicki’s estimate was closest to the excruciating reality that it had been almost two-and-a-half hours.

The Geordie boys then later revealed that Edwina would have to take on the next trial, cabin fever, all by herself - does this mean the end of Kendra’s bad luck?

November 27

It was an awkward reception all round for the campers as everybody’s ears were still ringing after ex-playboy bunny Kendra screeched at former MP Edwina Currie during an argument.

But Jimmy and Jake were up for the challenge of cheering their campmates up with a pointless game of long jump which managed to raise a few smirks.

The feud between the girls thankfully didn’t last too long though as Edwina extended an olive branch of a piece of fruit when Kendra was told she would have to face the next trial, Grim Gallery.

This was the fourth time the public voted for her to take on the challenge and the fourth attempt at winning a decent meal for the celebrities.

But - as ever - a lot of screaming and “come on guys” directed towards the Geordie duo was involved.

The challenge was to put her head through replicas of famous paintings and a box filled with creepy crawlies would await her as well as a star.

Yet to no surprise, Kendra complained, whined, and got next to nothing until she just about managed to achieve one star.

The mood in the camp sagged when the reality star revealed the news but their minds were taken off the lack of food when Jimmy and motor racer Foggy disappeared for a mysterious challenge.

The pair was escorted and locked in the Shed of Dread, where they had to open the lid to 100 pipes with 10 containing stars and the rest filled with bugs.

But out of the kindness of their starving hearts, the campmates decided to give up their luxury items and letters from home so there would be fewer pipes for the duo to open.

Once they gathered all the stars after many mind draining, the quiet ones of the group, rapper Tinchy and presenter Nadia, travelled across the island via a helicopter in search of the pair with the help of their other campmates.

The team was on track to finding Jimmy, Foggy and the stars but as the rain grew heavier and Nadia’s hair became flatter, the mission had to be called off for safety reasons.

Nevertheless, everyone was overjoyed when they still received all 10 stars - who says triers never win?

November 25

There was a rumble in the jungle last night as American reality star Kendra and former MP Edwina Currie were at each other’s throats over a comment made by the ex-playboy bunny.

But the campers were first treated to a trip out of the campsite when they got to watch X Factor’s Jake storm through the live trial, The Critter Cube, facing a snake wrapped round his neck, green ants crawling up and down his arms and holding pig testicles between his teeth, winning him all 10 stars.

Yet this didn’t mean one of the celebrities was completely off the hook, as ex-footballer Jimmy who had received the second highest amount of public votes, had to face a bonus challenge for them to receive drinks that evening.

To get the desire prize of alcohol, Jimmy would have to put his hand in a box of pythons and hang coloured cards to their matching hooks and after a few screams and squeals, he just about managed to overcome his fears and win the reward.

Campmates motorbike racer Foggy, ‘Allo ‘Allo’s Vicki and Jimmy were also invited to the pool side bar, the Withcedy Club, where they could share a moment with a loved one if broadcaster Michael and presenter Nadia correctly the hidden identifies of the celebs’ family and friends in a game of guess who.

Lucky for the duo, they got all of the answers right and tears were shed by the bucket load as Jimmy’s friend, Foggy’s wife and Vicki’s daughter all emerged from the wilderness and ran into the celebrity’s arms.

But while the three were enjoying hugs and kisses by the pool, a dark cloud loomed over the camp, when Edwina eavesdropped on Kendra’s conversation with Michael about how you should “never live your life for another”.

The MP woke from her slumber and began telling the former playboy bunny that she was in the wrong and that it was a “selfish” philosophy to live by, acting as a catalyst for the release of the Kendra shaped bomb that was about to drop, as she exploded in front of everyone’s eyes.

The endless screaming and swearing soon died down but this is definitely not the end of the feud between the pair.

November 24

Some of the campmates were feeling a little mischievous when they woke up as a game of pass the dragon fruit was played between prankster Jimmy, X Factor reject Jake and motorbike racer Foggy as they slyly slipped the item in each other’s bag until the racer eventually got the blame for its disappearance.

But all attention soon went on to presenter Mel as she was voted to do take on the next bushtucker trial, Hell’s Kitchen.

Mel excitedly made her way to the trial, where Ant and Dec revealed she would have to rial through their make believe kitchen for keys that would unlock three bins filled with organs.

She would then have to carry the lump of meat over to a large scale which would determine how many stars they would receive by the weight.

Opening croc-filled cupboards, toads in fridges, and eels in freezers, Mel rushed to find every key and after unlocking all of the bins, she flung piles of liver and kidneys onto the scales, winning the camp nine stars.

But if that wasn’t enough to make everyone’s day, the CIA was attempting to make it even better as Jake, Jimmy, former MP Edwina and newly recruited Kendra were given their final mission to receive the care packages.

All they had to do, was convince their campmates to get into the pool at the same time.

Kendra’s love of moaning came of some use when she suddenly came down with a case of “homesickness” and in an attempt to cheer her up, a casual trip to the pool was suggested.

Despite rapper Tinchy’s reservations, the celebrities were in their swimming costumes in no time, with Jimmy bouncing Edwina up and down in her polka-dot swimsuit in no time.

Then after the door to the secret shower cave door was left open for Foggy to find and successfully convincing the others that the members of the CIA knew nothing about its existence, the four won their packages and revealed their identities.

Celebrities soon forgot about the lies and the deceit when they got their hands on their own care packages, receiving pictures of their loved ones, childhood toys that resembled Jimmy’s luscious locks and cashew nuts which thrilled broadcaster Michael more than a photo of his grandchildren.

But nothing could possibly erase or distract from the disturbing image of Edwina Currie licking her lips at the taste of a bottle coca-cola - that thought will be stuck in the minds of many for quite a few days.

November 23

Campers were woken up at the crack of dawn by motorbike racing champ Foggy who insisted on disturbing everyone’s slumber by breaking twigs for the fire.

But if that didn’t annoy everyone, then X Factor’s Jake made the morning even worse as he kept goggling at Irish singer and presenter Nadia as she took her top off, making everyone feel uncomfortable.

Geordie boys Ant and Dec strolled into the camp to let the celebrities know who would take part in the next bush tucker trial, catacombs of doom.

It was down to the last two, presenter Mel and ex-playboy bunny Kendra, with one looking like an eager child waiting for presents at Christmas and the other looking like she was about to be sick.

Unfortunately, the queasy looking one was chosen and Kendra was picked to face another trial.

The catacombs of doom involved going into a few tunnels and sticking your hand in some holes with creepy crawlies and stars in them.

But as expected, Kendra refused to even attempt almost any of the challenges and as Dec nicely put it, “you’ve have a quarter of your time and you’ve only made it down the bottom of the stairs”.

After only managing to get two stars before she asked to be let out, her only excuse was that she was on her period which was way too much information for Ant and Dec.

But it wasn’t such a bad day for Kendra. When the CIA - made up of Edwina, Jake and Jimmy - had to choose another member to join their team, their first thought was the former playboy bunny as it meant she couldn’t be chosen to do the next trial and the campers might actually stand a chance of eating a decent meal.

The four were asked to take part in a Dingo Dollar Challenge but to their surprise, there was no gruesome trial in sight but instead a jacuzzi for them to soak all their troubles away.

The nice guy that Jake is even offered to massage Kendra in the tub leaving an awkward Jimmy and Edwina grimacing at the pair like they were on a double date with a couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other while the ex-footballer was left with the “other one”.

Once the foursome exited the jacuzzi, they had to dip their clothes in jungle grime to trick the other campmates into believing they just suffered a challenge instead of enjoying a long two hour soak.

After spitting out their two star meal of the mysterious Mutton bird, it seemed Jimmy and Foggy’s bromance was slowly diminishing as Jake was getting even closer to the former footballer since he joined the CIA, leaving a jealous motorbike racer at the side lines.

Maybe Nadia can breath a sigh of relief as she won’t have to worry about Jake following her around anymore with Jimmy now in the picture.

November 22

In scenes similar to the opening of Jurassic Park new arrivals X Factor finalist Jake Quickendon and former MP Edwina Currie soared through the skies towards the wilderness in a helicopter.

But the most frightening thing in the jungle wasn’t a man-eating T-Rex or a spine-tingling Velociraptor - it was the flirtation between Jake and Edwina who talked about wanting to share a bed and if only one of Margaret Thatcher’s ministers was 40 years younger.

The sickly pair didn’t join their other campmates straight away as they had to spend their first night under a canapé (thankfully with two beds).

On their arrival, a tape told them they were part of the secret Celebrity Intelligence Agency - CIA for short - and would have to complete tasks to win personal items such as photos and other treats for their campmates.

The duo arrived in camp the following morning and after the pleasant surprise of waking up to the sight of hunky Jake, Kendra had the next bush tucker trial, Cockroach Shaker, on her mind.

The ex-playboy bunny was tied up in a large cocktail shaker which turned upside down and had to open polystyrene ice cubes that contained stars, while being covered in cockroaches.

Her squeals of terror could have damaged eardrums and after only finding one star, Kendra screamed “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!” and was released from the shaker.

So the camp was only going to receive a mouthful of food that night but their focus soon turned to winning the Dingo Dollar Challenge for a possible treat.

Broadcaster Michael, actress Vicki and rapper Tinchy stood up to the challenge and had to choose from a list of questions for their new friends to answer back at the camp.

If they got the three questions right in 60 second, they would win strawberries and cream but if not, Michael, Vicki and Tinchy would be covered in cockroaches.

But the dastardly duo – as well as newly recruited ex-footballer Jimmy Bullard – were given the mission of jeopardising the task by encouraging everyone to answer incorrectly.

So even before the clueless celebrities entered the challenge, they were doomed for failure and despite Michael’s confidence that Edwina would know how long Margaret Thatcher was PM for, he was flabbergasted when bugs started raining on him as she purposefully gave him the wrong answer.

As questions and confusing accusations flew across the camp, Jake and Irish presenter Nadia were a little distracted as he showed her his tattoos.

Could this be the start of a blossoming relationship between this year’s equivalent to Tarzan and Jane?

November 21

An Essex shaped hole appeared in the camp as Towie star Gemma Collins fled with her tail between her legs after spending just three days away from civilisation.

But her complaints of self-diagnosed Malaria became a mere echo as all eyes turned to funny-boy footballer Jimmy Bullard and ex-playboy bunny Kendra Wilkinson as they took on the Terror Tavern.

The pair were given the task of eating different parts of animals including a deer’s penis, fish eyes, a pig’s nose and an ostrich’s toe.

But once Ant and Dec finished giggling like a pair of seven-year-olds, they told the jungle duo that if Jimmy successfully ate the next challenge - a slice of a camel’s hump - then it would be drinks all round for the campers.

If the thought of a cool beverage didn’t spur him on to win, then it would have been Kendra’s eyes bulging out of their sockets at the thought of alcohol.

But not all was well and good in the camp as Corrie’s Craig Charles left following the death of his brother.

The campmates gave their condolences and bid him goodbye with Irish beauty Nadia, ‘Allo ‘Allo!’s Vicki and TV presenter Mel in floods of tears over his sad departure.

On a lighter note, it was the return of the Dingo Dollar Challenge which meant the return of the Outback Shack and it’s creepy shop worker Kiosk Keith.

Mel and broadcasting legend Michael Beurk successfully completed their challenge of answering questions about their new friends despite an occasional squabble.

Then in a voice which sounded like a cross between an Australian Dalek and the voice from Scary Movie, Kiosk Keith rang the other campers and asked them one final question, which won them their chosen treat of brownies.

The rest of the night was filled with merriment and desperation on Kendra’s part as she pleaded for “donations” of everyone’s alcohol and woke up looking like she just stepped out of a tornado.

But she soon perked up as new campmates hunky X Factor reject, Jake Quickendon, and former MP, Edwina Currie, entered the camp the next morning.

Whether or not they’ll add anything more to the dynamics of the group is yet to be known but will find out more on tonight’s episode.

November 20

Our very own Romford girl finally left the show on last night’s episode of the jungle after changing her mind about leaving more times than she complained about her florescent diarrhoea.

Gemma seemed to wake up on the right side of her blanket, announcing to Corrie star Craig and Irish presenter Nadia that she “didn’t feel too bad”.

She even spoke about the five reasons why she wanted to go in the jungle in the first place - to “find” the real her, lose weight, think about what’s important in life, have a rest and meet new people.

Well the real her cried most of the time, weight loss is unknown, finding out if she contracted a life-threatening blood disease is most likely at the top of her list of priorities, she spent most of her time laying down and was forced to interact with her campmates - so overall, mission accomplished.

But her constant mood swings became almost unbearable as Miss Collins went from saying she never felt so unhappy in her entire life, to suggesting playing a game of leap frog in the celebrity slammer.

Her fluctuating emotions didn’t go over her campmate’s heads either as Craig began to look more agitated by the second at Gemma’s presence and her “negativity”.

The self-confessed diva described her being told to make her way to Crock Creek as a “dream come true” but this still wasn’t enough for her as she decided the next morning to wave goodbye to the other celebs.

Gemma’s time in the jungle was brief but certainly not dull and who knows - she might have missed her chance of the desired wooden crown and sceptre.

November 19

So, Gemma hasn’t taken my advice and rather than cutting out the moaning and getting on with it she’s stormed out of the jungle after just three days.

Romford girl Gemma Collins left the campsite base of the ITV reality show this morning.

The 33-year-old Towie star decided the experience just wasn’t for her, after near-constant complaints about the lack of food and the possibility of her contracting Malaria.

But after refusing to get to the campsite in a helicopter and giving up on the chance of winning a biscuit or two in a knitting task, is her departure from the show really a shock?

Watch the next episode of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! on ITV tonight to find out more about why Gemma left the show and return to the Recorder website tomorrow for my take on it.

November 18

Another day, another drama in the world of Miss Gemma Collins, as she spent a second night in the celebrity slammer.

This weekend, the 33-year-old left audiences in no doubt of her “diva-ship” when she burst into floods of tears before even stepping foot in the jungle, shouting to be let out of the helicopter and eventually being escorted to the wilderness in a white jeep.

Gemma continued the trend of maniacal hysteria in last night’s episode as she told her fellow campmates she had contracted Malaria and loudly complained of the “worst diarrhoea ever”.

Later in the episode she was lounging on her blanket in the celebrity slammer like it was a sunbed by a pool in Marbella. Gemma looked to have overcome her fears as she watched fellow campmates Corrie’s Craig Charles and Irish beauty Nadia Forde knitting for biscuits – she had given up within minutes of clutching the needles.

Better known as GC to the Towie community, Gemma is not having a completely miserable time and was seen balancing an eager soap star on top of her and chatting about her dream man, Mr Ray Winstone, to Nadia.

Nothing too difficult has made its way to Miss Collins just yet, but if the last two nights of bawling her eyes out, threatening to leave and talking about her florescent poo are anything to go by, we’re in for a treat.

To stay on the public’s right side and out of the bush tucker trials, Gemma needs to stop moaning as everyone knows the complainers are always the contestants that are voted for time and again.