Exercise should burn off more calories than you take on

Have you seen people breaking the lockdown rules? They’re everywhere.

You see people hugging in the park as they say goodbye, which makes it look like they don’t live in the same household. I think we all know, after a few months of living with your partner you’re done with the hugging phase. You don’t say goodbye you shout, “Remember to get milk!”

You see people walking in the park, which is technically exercise, but they’re drinking a latte as they do it. I know it doesn’t state this in the dictionary but I feel like exercise should, at the very least, be an activity where you burn off more calories than you take on.

Sometimes I am on the side of the rule breaker. There was a story in the news of a driver who was fined after police found him sitting naked in his car in a car park.

When asked why he was doing that he explained that he took a wrong turn. I love that he thinks the biggest issue is that he’s in a car park and not that he’s in his birthday suit.

It’s hard to excuse. I don’t know what you could possibly say to make it OK. If the police ever find me naked in my car I will look at the officer and say, “So you can see me? Thank heavens. I thought invisibility would be the best superpower but it was so lonely.”

The reason I am on the driver’s side is that people hugging in parks are worse. If you’re naked in a car at least you are in isolation. The biggest risk is that someone would get in the car with you. And if you’re in the buff people tend to not accept a lift from you. Trust me.