Having a child with Down’s syndrome is a blessing – you just need the right support.
That’s the philosophy of a parents’ group which has celebrated a year of friendship, fun and advice.
The Barking, Dagenham, Havering and Redbridge Down’s Syndrome Support Group met in the Heathway Centre, Dagenham, last week to discuss their successes and appeal for more members.
“A lot of mothers are expected to terminate their pregnancy if the child has Down’s,” said Tendai Nzirawa, a community nurse at Queen’s Hospital, Rom Valley Way, Romford, who runs the group with two parents.
“With one woman, the doctor assumed she wouldn’t want any more tests or check-ups because he was so sure she would abort.
“But we want people to know these children are a blessing – and we will give you so much support.”
Tendai said in many cases, parents from African and Asian backgrounds fear they will be ostracised for having a Down’s child.
“In many communities it is taboo to have a disabled child of any kind,” she said.
“It seems to especially affect West African people, but it’s also there in English communities.”
Mother-of-two Tendai, however, said she wouldn’t hesitate to raise a Down’s child herself – in part because of her group.
“The children can cope so well – they learn sign language and are given so much support,” she said.
The group will next meet at 10am on July 4 at the Heathway Centre. For more information, call Salma on 07898 724821 or Kate on 07736 929 919.
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‘Just an extra chromosome’
Salma Akhtar was told during her pregnancy that her child was at risk of Down’s syndrome.
But the former solicitor, who helps run the support group, said she never considered an abortion.
“I just cared about his heart and bowels,” said the 37-year-old of her son Ismail, one.
Salma, of Romford, admits she “cried through” the first week of motherhood – Ismail is her and husband Raja’s only child – before taking control.
“I realised I had to be there for him and just get on with it,” she said. “I like to think I’m emotionally quite strong.”
After being approached by Tendai about the group last year, Salma said it has been an enormous help.
“There’s no pressure,” she said. “You get together as parents and share experiences and advice.”
She hopes to raise awareness not only of the group but of Down’s syndrome itself.
“It’s just an extra chromosome – it’s nothing major,” she said.
“I think in the Asian community it definitely needs to be talked about more.
“There’s no need to hide anything – all you need is a bit more support.”
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