OPINION: Broadcaster Steve Allen looks at the issues of today

PUBLISHED: 11:21 15 August 2017


Saving the Earth is no job for a nine-year-old

Sometimes we hear in the news that young people don’t have enough get up and go to get themselves a job.

Here’s one news story that proves that wrong.

A nine-year-old asked Nasa for a job defending the Earth from aliens.

That’s a really hard job. Not like some kids who just open up a lemonade stand and don’t pay business rates.

Protecting the Earth isn’t an easy job. OK, defending us from aliens is made easier by the fact that aliens don’t exist, but if you mess up, you’re in trouble.

If I get something wrong at work I play the wrong song, but if you get something wrong protecting the Earth you’ll have to explain yourself to Zorb our new overlord.

Nasa advertised for a “planetary protection officer” vacancy.

I didn’t apply. I can’t save the Earth, I don’t always remember to recycle.

They say the worst thing you can do for environmental impact is have a child. I haven’t had any so forgive me if I throw a few yoghurt pots.

Nine-year-old Jack David, from New Jersey, sent a letter saying, “I may be nine but I think I would be fit for the job. One of the reasons is my sister says I am an alien.”

Doesn’t he know what conflict of interest means?

It sounds like a cute idea, a young boy saving the planet. I’ve seen films with a worse plot than that back in the ’80s.

In reality I don’t think he should get that job.

He’s nine so I’m sure there are child labour laws but most of all it’s based in America, and when it comes to having someone with a child’s brain that wants to ban all aliens, they’re all sorted.

• Tune into Steve’s Friday show on Time 107.5 FM at 2.15pm for the weekly local paper review with the Recorder.

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