Opinion: A look at the issues of today

PUBLISHED: 12:00 24 November 2017


Another reason to be jealous of the Queen

Yet again I find myself jealous of the Queen.

She’s got a great gig. You get a free palace, a chauffeur and all the corgis you can handle. Wherever you go you get your own toilet. It’s ideal.

OK, wherever you go you have people taking pictures of you but these days, thanks to the selfie, we do that to ourselves anyway.

And this week I learned a new thing that the Queen can do that makes me jealous.

She gave Prince Philip the title of Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order as a 70th anniversary gift.

We’ve all been there, dashing to a petrol station to see what last minute gifts you can find, trying to guess if you’d get away with buying your other half a road atlas as a gift.

“But darling, this represents the life’s journey we’re on together.”

Or Googling to see what year’s anniversary is coal so you could buy the charcoal briquettes.

As a monarch you wouldn’t need to do that. You could bestow a title.

They’d say, “You forgot our anniversary again, didn’t you?”

You’d reply, “Of course I didn’t, Viscount.”

Normally Grans give cash gifts that haven’t taken into account compound inflation for the last few decades. There are children everywhere having to write thank you letters to a relative for the £5 they got in a birthday card, and spending most of it on postage and packing.

The Queen doesn’t even give that.

Philip got the title for personal services to the sovereign. Thankfully we didn’t get any details about what kind of servicing earns you that title.

For all those times you have said about your partner, “I deserve a medal for staying with him,” you should realise, if you’d have married into the Royal Family, you may well have got one.

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